Touya's Immortal
by Fireyoukaigirl
Summary: I wrote this after listening to the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence. It's a beautiful song and I just got the idea out of the blue. This is written from Touya's point of view. Rated for character death.


**Well, I nearly made myself cry writing this. I don't know what came over me! I was reading some TouyaYukina fanfics and then I listened to this song and, well, this is the result. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters. Nor do I own the song "My Immortal". That belongs to Evanescence.**

* * *

Ice... cold, fozen, harsh.

That is the common human perception and, for a long time, I thought it to be true. Then, I met _her_. She showed me that ice doesn't mean cold and emotionless. She was different.

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone

As a child, I was afraid of death. I witnessed my mother's murder at the hands of my father. After that, I didn't fear death. I became a shinobi, cut off all emotions. I didn't think I feared death anymore... I was wrong.

Now, she remains with me, long after she is gone. At times, I wish her presence would leave me... and at others, I'm comforted by it.

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

It's been three years since she passed, but that doesn't stop the pain. I never thought anything that wasn't bleeding could hurt, but I was wrong. That was probably what surprised me most when she died... it hurt me.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

I remember the day we met formally. She had been crying, an ice barrier surrounding her. She wanted to be alone, but Hiei had asked for my help. Hiei and I weren't necessarily friends, but we were on good terms. I walked into her frozen barrier and kneeled beside her.

"Yukina," I said.

She looked up at me in surprise.

"Y-You're Kurama-san's friend, Touya," she said quietly.

I nodded my head and began talking to her, discovering what had been troubling her. I wiped the tears from her eyes as she cried.

I also remember a time just a few months later. I was at Genkai's temple, speaking with Yusuke. In the distance I heard a high-pitched scream. It was one of terror.

"That sounded like Yukina," Yusuke exclaimed.

Something came over me and I ran out of the temple as quickly as possible. I followed her scent, I'll never forget it... sweet peppermint mixed with lilies, until I came to where she was. There was a large demon with his arm clenched tightly around her upper arm. Yukina struggled to free herself, but the demon kept his grip strong. I formed an sword of ice around my arm and killed the demon before he could do anymore damage. I turned to face Yukina and she pressed herself against my chest.

"Thank you, Touya-san," she cried, her delicate fingers gripping the front of my shirt.

I gently rested on hand on her back to calm her. It was at that moment that I knew I wanted to court her.

You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

She was so kind and loving. I often found it hard to believe she was an ice maiden, which were rumored to be as harsh as the ice they surrounded themselves with. Like I stated before, Yukina was different. She showed me that ice isn't always cold.

Your face it haunts  
My once pleasant dreams

Many a night, I would wake up in a cold sweat, panting. I have the same damned dream every night. I'm always too late to save her and she dies in my arms

Your voice it chased away  
All the sanity in me

She would always talk to me about anything that was troubling her. Her voice always sounded like beautiful bells to me. At times wondered what had drawn me to her in the first place, she was so different from me. I would soon realize it, though. Her eyes, her voice, and her kindness were just a few of the many traits she has that made me love her.

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I had never known true happiness before she came into my life and, now that she's gone, I'm not sure I will again. I wasn't the only one affected by her death, but I think I was the one affected the most, along with Hiei. I'd learned of his relation to Yukina soon after I met her, but was sworn to never tell her. Now I regret keeping that secret from her.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

She had been crying again. This time because her friends had been badly injured in a fight and her healing couldn't help them. Those coveted stones fell from her eyes and landed on the hardwood floor with a soft _tak_. I kneeled beside her, just like had when we met, and rested my hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly and turned her head to face me.

"Touya, I don't know what to do," she cried, her tears now soaking my shirt.

I wrapped my arms around her in an attempt to soothe her. I hated seeing her cry.

"They'll be fine. You've done all you can," I answered.

Yukina looked up at me with those tear-filled eyes. They looked as if they were pleading for me to be right. I gently wiped her tears away with my hand.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along

She had been attacked and I wasn't there to protect her. I heard her scream and ran to her aid. By the time I arrived, it was too late. I watched the demon holding her slit her throat. Rage coursed through my veins and I quickly disposed of him before rushing to Yukina's side. I held her in my arms and could feel something stinging my eyes.

"I love you, Touya," she whispered before going limp in my arms.

"I love you," I mumbled as something wet overflowed from my eyes.

It took me a moment to realize they were tears. I was crying for the first time in as long as I could remember. I stood up, the delicate woman in my arms, and made my way back to the temple. When I walked in, the first reaction of everyone was shock. After a moment, their faces changed.

Jin's usually upward-pointed ears drooped and most everyone's faces showed sorrow. All but Hiei. His expression was clearly rage and I was never sure who it was directed at. It could have been at me for not reaching her in time, or at himself for not knowing she was in danger, or both.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have  
All of me

Now I'll never be able to see her face again, never be able to comfort her, protect her. I often wonder, if I could have been there just a second sooner, would it have made a difference?

"Te lass es in a better place," Jin says while flying up from behind me.

"I know," I answer.

I know that, but it never brings comfort. Nothing will.

Ice... nurturing, caring, loving.

That is what she was.

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**Again, I'm not quite sure what possessed me to write this, but I think it may be my best oneshot yet. Let me know what you think. Please R&R.**


End file.
